• Comment(s): 5
  • Have you heard of the rather unique funeral held in an office in New York some years ago? As employees of the firm came in to work one Monday morning, they were greeted by a solemn notice at the entrance: "The person responsible for inhibiting your growth died yesterday. The body has been placed in the cafeteria, till 2 pm today."

    Sad to think a colleague had passed away, and curious who the person might be, the employees trooped into the cafeteria to pay their last respects. A crowd of company staff had gathered inside. 'Who is this chap who has been hindering our growth?' each wondered, as they walked up to the coffin to take a dekko. One by one, as each person took a look inside the coffin, there was shocked silence - and a look of disbelief.

     Inside the coffin was a mirror. And below it was a placard on which was written: "There's only one person who can set limits to your growth. And that's YOU." 

    Now that's a message we would all do well to remember.
     
    When we find ourselves falling short of the success we think we deserve, we often blame our bosses, our employers, the industry, or the current favourite - the recession! Everyone and everything, in fact, except ourselves. For things to change in your life, you don't need to change your job, or your company or your town. You only need to change yourself. Start now. Adopt a new philosophy for your life. Tell yourself the magic phrase: "If it is to be, it is up to me!" It's not often that you can get a set of ten two-letter words to form one whole sentence. And no ordinary sentence but one, which has the power to become a life-changing philosophy for you, for me and for all of us: "If it is to be, it is up to me!" Just say it to yourself, believe in it, and see the difference.

     
    The power to change our lives and chart our future lies within each of us. Resist the temptation to blame others for your plight. When you blame other people, you take away your inherent power to change. You weaken yourself. But by taking responsibility, you empower yourself to change your fortunes. And that one act - taking responsibility for yourself - is really what separates winners from losers.

     
    Have you ever seen sailing boats wander into the sea? They all take off from one place, around the same time, and yet reach different shores. Why is that? The winds are the same. The water currents too are the same for all the boats. Yet, they reach different destinations, because, where the boat will reach is determined not by the direction of the wind, but by the set of the sails.

     
    Our lives are like that too. So stop blaming the winds of your company policy or the currents of the economy. Stop worrying that you did not go to a premier B-School, or that you grew up in a non-English-speaking home. Take charge of your life. Change your mindset and get your thinking right. To reach your goals, it's important to set your sails properly. For things to get better, you need to get better. Need new skills? Invest in training yourself don't wait for your employer to do it. I find it puzzling that while young people spend money on trendy new clothes, and on new cellphones and on the monthly visit to the beauty salon, they want the company to spend money on training them, on making them better employees, smarter people. 'Training myself is not my responsibility' seems to be the general dictum!

     
    For things to change, we must change our beliefs, and our mindsets. Do yourself a favour. Stick this ten-word aphorism on your bathroom mirror: "If it is to be, it is up to me!" And wake up to a new you.
  • Published on: June 01, 2009
  • 5 Comments
  • Shashi | Jun 02, 2011

  • This idea about boat and sail is well explained.Swami Vivekananda, in his complete works, quotes a similar sentiment. It is as follows: "Men in general lay all the blame of life on their fellowmen, or, failing that, on God, or they conjure up a ghost, and say it is fate. Where is fate, and who is fate? We reap what we sow. We are the makers of our own fate. None else has the blame, none has the praise. The wind is blowing; and those vessels whose sails are unfurled catch it, and go forward on their way, but those which have their sails furled do not catch the wind. Is the fault of the wind?"
  • vvl paparao | Aug 24, 2010

  • Eye opening to take responsiblity for my self.thamks a lot
  • Rishabh | Apr 03, 2010

  • i am a student in class XII & have been going through a very rough patch,i just happened to buy your magazine today & came to know about CA,CS & CLAT.. i logged on to the website to know more about these exams and how to go about preparing for them,& this is when i came across this article,& it just changed my overall perspective on my problems, i thought for a good long time & realised that for the past few months i had been blaming everybody and everything except me for my poor performance and i came to realise that such behaviour was making me more weaker & was further aggravating my problem.... I'd really like to convey my regards to the author of this article for making me REALISE my DEFICIENCIES and thereby giving me a platform to re-evaluate and re-work on all that i have done wrong... IF IT IS TO BE,IT IS UP TO ME... I'll always remember this line & use it to bolster my confidence,overcome my inhibitions,& to work hard to achieve my goals in life... THANKS A LOT
  • MANOJ | Feb 03, 2010

  • My life is going to change from now.
  • sumanth | Aug 05, 2009

  • I have been reading Prakash Iyer s articles from backwards, i must say these articles change the mindset we have towards life. These self-improvement techniques really rock. Offering You a whole hearted Thanks.
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