IT has probably happened to you before. Sometime, somewhere. As you walked towards the door of an office or a hotel, the person walking in front held the door open for you. Remember that time? Remember how good it made you feel – if only for that moment? The other person may have been a perfect stranger – but that one act made you feel you had a friend. Remember?
And isn’t it surprising that although we all feel good when someone else holds the door open for us, we seldom do the same for others. How come? It’s probably because we are all pre-occupied with ourselves and with what’s good for us. We are obsessed with getting ahead. Here then is a life-changing lesson they don’t teach you in any B-School: ‘Hold The Door Open’. HTDO!
The world is divided into two types of people. Those who push open a door, walk past and let the door slam behind them. That’s about 99% of the population. And there’s the 1% who open the door and hold it open to allow the next person to walk through. Learn to do that, and you could join the select 1% club too.
Holding the door open is not just an act of chivalry, it’s a mindset. It says you care for other people, that you are not so caught up in your own progress that you have scant regard for other folks. It shows that while you may be in a hurry, you still have time for others. It marks you out as a leader who walks faster, pushes ahead, opens doors – but is then mindful of his team, checking their progress, helping them get past barriers. HTDO doesn’t merely make other people feel good. It makes you feel good too.
The habit of holding the door open translates into a behaviour of helping and caring. On the night before the Math exam, you help a friend who is struggling to pass – rather than focusing on scoring an extra mark yourself. The friend will never forget that. At the buffet table, the HDTO habit makes you pick up a plate and offer it to the lady behind you in the queue. The smile you see on her face is quite priceless. Small gestures all – but they make a huge difference. HDTO marks you out as someone special.
Try it. Become a HTDO person. And get the habit that separates winners from losers.
I love the story of what happened to a hot-shot sales manager (let’s call him Vijay) on a Sunday evening in the parking lot of a shopping mall. The parking lot was packed. Cars were crawling with anxious drivers looking for that one vacant slot. And Vijay, sharp and aggressive as he was known to be, spotted a vacant space ahead and quickly zoomed in. He could see another car trying to back into the same slot, but Vijay was determined to beat the other man to it. And he did! Vijay felt jubilant – as we all sometimes do with life’s little victories. The old man was disappointed. He looked Vijay in the eye and continued his search for another parking slot.
Two days later, Vijay was preparing for one of the biggest moments of his career. He was close to winning a big contract for his company. And all that was left now was the formal handshake meeting with the client’s CEO. As Vijay walked into the client’s office and eyed the CEO, he felt a sudden sense of discomfort. Yes, it was the same man whom he had snatched the parking slot from on Sunday. And you can guess what happened thereafter. Alas! If only Vijay had grown up with the HTDO habit! The habit of caring for other people!
Winning in life is less about naked ambition, and more about helping other people win. As someone once said, ‘It’s nice to be important. But it’s more important to be nice!’
Make a beginning. Hold the door open!
Prakash Iyer is MD, Kimberly-Clark and Executive Coach.