POOJA was a rather unhappy girl. She just hated college. Ask her why, and the response would be quick: The students in her college were all snobbish and extremely unhelpful. Terrible people to be with!
Aarti always walked around with a huge smile on her face. She loved her college. And if you asked her why, her response would be swift too: The students in her college were extremely warm and friendly. Wonderful folks to hang out with!
Now you’d probably be thinking we are all like them. If we are lucky to be in a place where the people are nice and friendly, we are happy. And if we are not so fortunate, and find ourselves in the midst of not-so-nice people, we are unhappy.
So here’s the interesting bit. Both Pooja and Aarti are students of the same college. In fact, they are in the same class! If you look around, you’ll find several people like Pooja and Aarti. It could be two people, who work in the same organisation, or are studying the same course, or living in the same city; while one of them loves everything about the company or the course or the place they live in, the other person always seems to be complaining about how terrible their world is.
How come? Same place, different views. Why does this happen? Maybe there’s a message in the story of the old man who ran a highway tea shop on a highway between two cities. It was a popular stopover for motorists, partly because of the quality of the tea, and more because of the friendly old man who ran it.
One day, a car carrying a group of friends stopped by and after all the occupants had helped themselves to some delicious tea, one of them asked the old man “How are the people in the town ahead?”
“How were the people in the town you are coming from?” asked the old man.
“Oh, they were lousy,” was the reply. “Arrogant and ill-mannered!”
The old man paused for a moment and then said “You will find the people in the town ahead are also like that.”
A little while later another car pulled over at the tea shop. The folks in the car enjoyed their tea and as they were about to drive off, one of them asked the old man the same question: “How are the people in the town ahead?”
And the old man responded “How were the people in the town you are coming from?”
“They were wonderful people,” came the response. “Warm and helpful”
The old man smiled and said “You will find that the people in the town ahead are exactly the same.”
Think about it. It’s always like that. The way we see the people around us depends not so much on how they are – but on how we are.
If you find yourself unhappy with the people and circumstances in your life, maybe the problem is not with them – it’s to do with you! If the world around you looks rather dark and gloomy, when someone else finds it bright and sunny - maybe all you need to do is remove your dark sunglasses! Change the way you look at your world. Resolve to be happy. Be positive. Be friendly. And the world will seem a better place.
Become the kind of friend or colleague you’d like to have and - surprise – you’ll find that the people around are you are like that too. You will find all the warmth and the friendliness reflecting back at you. We all tend to attract people and circumstances that are in harmony with our attitude. Happy people have happy friends, happy lives. And the converse tends to be generally true too. Alas!
Remember, for things to change, we must change. Your college, or your company, and your city – all these are actually wonderful places. You just need to learn to look at them that way. Gandhiji’s advice still holds true: Be the change you want to see. Starting today, change your outlook. Change your world!
Prakash Iyer is MD, Kimberly-Clark Lever and Executive Coach.
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