5 Ways Empathy Helps Build Stronger Relationships

Teenage is a much-awaited milestone. Children are usually excited to enter their teens and feel closer to “growing up”. This is the age when you love hanging around with friends, being “cool”, and somewhat self-centered too. You may also want more of your own space, think and feel differently from your elders, sometimes even getting irritated, and want to be away from them all. Similarly, you may find yourself outgrowing some of your friends. The newfound excitement at being a teen may end up giving rise to conflicts in your relationships that never happened before. The people who were your best buddies earlier may be onto newer things that may not be of your liking. You may be torn between making the right choices and peer pressure.

So what are the ways to enjoy a continuous good bonding with people around you? What skills or attributes as a teenager do you need for building stronger relationships? The answer to this is very simple – “Empathy”. Empathy is one of the essential traits for building and sustaining relationships successfully.

Let’s first understand the meaning of “empathy”.

What Is Empathy?

As we know, we all have different shoe sizes, and stepping in someone else’s shoes out of a crisis or mistake gets us to react immediately – “It is too tight and pinches my toes!” or “It is too small for me to move around in it!”. The strong sensation that comes with stepping in somebody else’s shoes also tells us something about the other person. Why we are discussing this is because the given metaphor is strongly related to what empathy essentially means.

The simplest meaning of “empathy” is putting yourself in another person’s shoes. It helps you in understanding the other person better, as to what they may be feeling or going through at that point of time. In other words, empathy can be understood as looking at a situation from another person’s perspective.

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How Empathy Strengthens Bonds

Let us now learn a few ways in which empathy can help us in forming good relationships:-

Creates Respect For Differences

You have your own strengths, weaknesses, and attributes which make you unique. Similarly, the children in your class, school, or peer group, come from various backgrounds. They may speak a different mother tongue or with a different accent, dress up differently than you, or may even come from a differing socio-economic background. Instead of naming, shaming, or jeering at them, accept differences by showing empathy. This will endear them to you, and enhance your image positively too.

Reduces Bullying

Empathy helps in reducing bullying and aggression as it gives you a good understanding of identifying others’ feelings. While growing up, there might come situations wherein you only mean to have fun but unknowingly end up having it at the expense of other persons’ feelings. Being sensitive towards others and not indulging in uncalled-for negative behaviour helps in building relationships positively.

Empathy Helps In Reducing Bullying By Giving You An understanding Of Identifying Others’ Feelings

Enhances Problem-Solving

Empathy helps solve problems better as it makes you see the other person’s perspective. It helps you keep an open mind and be able to find solutions much more easily than just running down a person for their difficulties. One person’s weakness can be your strength and if you have empathy, you will be able to think broadly, thereby helping the other person find an appropriate solution.

Boosts Sense Of Responsibility

Empathy makes you a responsible person as you are able to understand what the other person is feeling. For instance, if your mother, who usually handles all household work, is unwell and asks you to take up some chunk of her everyday chores, you are more likely to do it willingly instead of cribbing, ignoring, or avoiding her request.

Helps Make Choices

Empathy boosts self-confidence and leadership qualities. You can either be a “leader” or a “follower”. The choice is yours and empathy helps you in making the right choices. You take a decision based on your empathic understanding of others rather than just being a slave to peer acts.

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Being More Empathetic

Simple acts of volunteering are a good beginning for you to be empathic. People will like you for your responsible behaviour and this in turn will help you form new relationships as well as sustain the old ones.

Develop a habit of "responding" and not "reacting", in your everyday conversations with parents, teachers, peers, friends, and others. This essentially means that we take a minute to understand the actual meaning of what the other person is saying and then respond logically rather than in a reflex. This would help us understand where the other person is coming from and prevent us from reacting in a way that is hurtful to the other person, thereby eventually strengthening the bond we share with them.

As a teenager, finding your feet and thinking maturely comes with time. Empathy guides you in your acts and gives you the courage to contribute positively to your friends, family, and the community at large.

So let go of the old you and let empathy be your guiding force.

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Sanjana Seth is a Psychologist and Psychotherapist, registered with RCI, and holds more than two decades of practising experience with the healthcare organisations of the Armed Forces, as well as those operating as private. Mother to two adults and grandma to a toddler, Sanjana has worked extensively for children with special needs and taught Psychology to students at undergraduate and postgraduate levels.