How To Control Anger: 9 Ways To Manage Anger
We all know what anger is like and have felt its power before, whether as a passing irritation or a full-blown outburst. It is natural to get angry, for it is a perfectly normal reaction to perceived threats and slights. But when anger remains unchecked and becomes unpredictable, that is when it can become destructive and cause problems in your relationships and work.
It can be distressing for people who frequently get angry to know that they’re at the mercy of a powerful emotion that they cannot control. This article will help you understand the nature of anger, learn how to control anger issues, and how to control anger immediately as it is arising.
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Why Is It Important To Control Your Anger
Anger is an emotional state that ranges from slight irritation to intense rage. Just like any other emotion, anger is accompanied by physiological changes that prepare the body for action. The heart rate increases, blood pressure goes up, stress hormones kick in, the pupils shrink - all adaptive responses that prepare the body for aggressive action. In the natural state of things, anger is useful in small, controlled amounts.
Our anger can be aroused by things both external and internal to us. We can get angry over a dispute with a colleague, by the slow-moving traffic, or often just by mulling over personal problems. Memories of traumatic events and the unresolved past can also trigger anger. But we can’t go around being angry at every person or situation that annoys us. Laws, societal regulations, customs and common-sense demand that we rein in our anger before it gets too violent and look to resolve the underlying issue before things get worse.
Suppressing your anger or not knowing how to manage anger can lead to other problems. Unexpressed anger can lead you to become resentful, be passive-aggressive, develop grudges, and other pathological expressions which are not just mentally draining but also create unwarranted cynicism and hostility. It is best, then, to learn how to manage anger and express it in a manner that is both acceptable and healthy.
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Ways To Deal With Anger
Let’s go through a few ways that will teach you how to control anger issues.
1. How To Control Your Anger - Recognise Signs Of Anger
Learning to recognise when you start to feel angry is the first step to knowing what makes you angry and how to manage anger. Perhaps you feel frustrated when you’re overlooked by your superiors, or there’s an irresistible urge to shout when people don’t listen to you. Whatever it may be, it is important to realize what causes you to get angry. Once you learn to identify the signs that your temper is about to rise, you can learn to use the methods mentioned below to contain and reframe your anger.
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2. How To Control Your Anger - Think Before You Speak
It is often the case that, in the heat of the moment, we end up saying things that we don’t actually mean, and come to regret them later. Granted, it is easy to be swept along with feelings of rage and blurt things out as they come. But such explosive reactions often lead to a falling out with one’s peers, especially if you don’t pay attention to what you say. So, the best thing to do when you feel angry is to take a step back, recollect your thoughts, and think before you say anything, allowing others to do the same.
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3. How To Control Your Anger - Practice Relaxation Techniques
When anger riles you up, practice relaxation. Here are a few techniques for you to practice and keep in mind the next time you’re vexed:
Deep breathing - Our breathing becomes shallow when we’re angry, and so, to learn how to control anger immediately, simply reverse that trend and you’ll feel calmer again. Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale out the mouth. Do this a few times and your body will return to homeostasis.
Counting down - When accompanied by deep breathing, counting down from ten (or a hundred if you’re really furious) can distract you from your anger. Your anger will most likely wash over you by the time you’re done. This is another way to learn how to control anger immediately while it’s arising.
Go for a walk - It is better to take a break from whichever situation that’s vexing you and go for a walk. This way you avoid lashing out at people and give yourself time enough to let your anger subside.
Repeat calming phrases - Find a phrase that calms you down and repeat it to yourself whenever you feel upset. A few examples could be “It’s okay”, “All is well”, or simply “Relax”.
This is one of the best ways to learn how to control anger issues as the techniques allow you to calm yourself down physically, and keep yourself in check.
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4. How To Control Your Anger - Diffuse Tension With Humour
Laughter is the best medicine and holds true for anger as well. There’s nothing as diffusive of anger as laughing out loud and finding ways of putting a humorous spin on things. Play with your pets, watch stand-up comedy or breeze through the memes, do whatever tickles your funny bone. By diffusing the tension, humour and laughter help us broaden our minds and reduce what looked like the mountain of a problem down to a molehill, at least in the broader scheme of things.
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5. How To Control Your Anger - Identify The Root Problem
Controlling Anger By Resolving Underlying Issues
Anger is the symptom of a problem, and finding the most immediate solution for it won’t necessarily solve the underlying problem that is causing you to flare up. Unless the root issue is addressed, you’ll keep getting angry whenever you come across it. It is best to think about the problem with a cool head and look for solutions. You may even get a close friend to work with you and ask those tough questions to get to the heart of the problem.
It should also be noted that anger isn’t always misplaced and is often a reaction to the inescapable problems of life. Nevertheless, knowing how to manage anger will ensure that you at least don’t make things worse, and learn to face them without losing control.
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6. How To Control Your Anger - Write Down Your Thoughts
Writing down your thoughts and feelings is a therapeutic exercise in understanding yourself and the reasons for your anger. Whether or not you keep a journal, practising writing your thoughts will help you clarify them and dig deep into the problems that are upsetting you. This method will teach you how to control anger issues and work through them as you write.
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7. How To Control Your Anger - Talk To Someone You Trust
Talking to a friend or loved one about how you feel will help you express yourself and give your sentiments an outlet. It is important to maintain healthy relationships with people who know you and whom you can trust, for it is in such situations of anger and distress that you will need them most. Having a friend who’s willing to listen to you when you’re red hot will ensure that you don’t get consumed by your anger and can talk your heart out without being judged.
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8. How To Control Your Anger - Know When To Seek Professional Help
If the above methods do not work and you find yourself flying into a rage ever so often, then you may want to seek additional help. Sometimes, we are just not capable of managing our anger or learning how to control anger issues by ourselves, especially if the problem is deep-rooted. In such cases, talking to a counsellor or a psychologist is not just recommended, it is also the right thing to do.
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9. How To Control Your Anger - Practice Gratitude And Positivity
A long term way of learning how to control anger issues is to practice gratitude and having a positive frame of mind. Being thankful for the things you have in life will help you focus on the positives rather than brooding over the problems that trigger your anger.
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It is not unnatural to feel angry, nor is it an emotion that is shunned by society. However, because unchecked anger can cause problems for both you and the people around you, it is good to know how to control anger immediately, find ways to express it and look to resolve whatever’s causing it. We hope you found this article useful in combating unhealthy levels of anger and learning how to manage anger.
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Shashwat Khatri is a psychology graduate. He is a content developer with Careers360.
