5 Things You Should Say More Often To Your Teen

Adolescence often brings with it a plethora of physical, emotional, and social changes that are completely new for the person experiencing them. Added to it is the responsibility to do well in academics and carve a career for oneself, along with having to deal with romantic feelings, discovering sexual orientation, and so much more. Parental support coming across in the right ways by saying positive things to say to your teenager can make a huge difference in smoothing this transition to a new phase of life, while also strengthening the relationship between you and your child.

We know that the words that we say often leave a huge impact on the person they are said to. Same is true in the context of communication between parents and children. Incorporating a few elements more often in your conversations and saying positive things to say to your teenager is likely to cement the trust in your bond with them.

As a parent, talking to teenagers can be difficult. Have you said these five things to your teen recently?

“I Love You”

You know you love your child, but when was the last time you actually said it? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we are doing in our jobs and personal lives that we forget to say the obvious but important things. It is best if you don’t take it for granted that your child knows that you love him or her. It is one of the positive things to say to your teenager. Say it. Another way to talk to teens is expressing. Expressing is the key. This not only helps the teen have more faith in you and the relationship they share with you, but they may also learn how to express love in different ways.

“I Am Proud Of You”

For once, let’s focus less on how good Sharma Ji’s son is and more on the little achievements of your own child. There are certainly some things about your teen that make you feel proud of them. Telling them you are proud of them is another one of the positive things to say to your teenager. Maybe they have a kind, giving heart or they are exceptionally good at sports or sketching. Find one thing in your child that you are proud of and let them know about it. An easy way to find out is to reflect on what you tell others about your child. What are those elements (essentially positive) in your teenager that you mention to others?

There is tremendous power in the act of appreciation to hear these words. Think about it. How would you have felt if your parents told you the same thing more often when you were young? You may not even realise what wonders it may do to your teen. Aren't a few words of appreciation everyone yearns to listen to?

Telling your teenagers you are proud of them will give them immense power.

“I’m There For You”

Another one of the positive things to say to your teenager is telling them that you are there for them. Be it their first board exam, getting low grades, or first heartbreak, support and unconditional acceptance coming from parents would induce an unmatchable feeling in your teenager. With the volcano of feelings teenagers go through time and again, it is common for them to feel people around them don’t understand them or that they don’t have anyone to fall back upon. You may not be able to solve all of their problems, but simply expressing that you’re there for them and showing it through your actions can make a much-needed difference.

“I Believe In You”

Teen years are full of uncertain times. Your child may feel unsure about so many things. While they’re discovering their identity and trying to understand who they are, it is also natural for them to experience self doubt, insecurities about how they look or how others perceive them, or second guess the decisions they make.

Another way to talk to teens is telling them that you believe in them. Do you take the time to remind your child that you believe that they can do whatever they set out to do? When was the last time you told your child that you believe in them? Now may be the time. Having your parents believe in you can be their biggest self-esteem booster.

“I Am Sorry”

Last, but the most impactful statement. Sometimes “I am sorry” is the hardest thing to say. Another way of talking to teenagers when you are in the wrong is to apologise. When you are wrong, admit it. It will not undermine your position as parent in your child’s eyes, rather, it will only earn you their respect and teach them how essential and impactful it is to say a ‘sorry’ when one does wrong. It shall encourage your teenager to own up their mistakes and be accountable. Further, this normalises mistakes as a human experience and teaches your child the art of forgiveness as well.

Words are powerful, but the words you don’t say can be just as powerful. Just because you think it, does not mean that your child automatically knows it, or doesn’t need to hear it. Talking to teenagers is more than that. There is no telepathy to it, you need to say positive things to say to your teenager and say it out loud.

Sanskriti Khera is a Counselling Psychologist, with five years of extensive hands-on experience in helping young adults navigate through social and emotional concerns. Her approach to counselling is person-centered, trauma-informed, and insight-oriented. She was formerly Counsellor at the Ashoka Centre For Well-Being, Ashoka University, Sonepat. Currently, she is Consultant with Daffodils Therapy Studio, New Delhi.