9 Tips To Prepare Your Teenager For Boarding School

Allowing your kids to grow up and letting them fly ‘out of the nest’ is the hardest task for a parent and yet, it is perhaps one of the most important things that the latter is needed to do. It is okay to be worried, slightly anxious, and even sad, but confidence, assurance, and courage coming from parents at this time is essential for kids to be able to shape their lives and help them identify themselves as they grow up.

Transitioning To Boarding School

Teenagers are often required to switch to boarding school or move to another city to attend college. While we, parents, are usually aware of how important this transition is for our children, there is reasonable scepticism about sending our children to live away from home for the first time.

Let our children be not afraid to grow slowly and steadily, and stand firmly grounded with their values and beliefs instilled by us – their parents and their immediate family. Yes, they will fall, hurt, win a few, lose a few, make some friends and fiends, go through homesickness, bad food at the mess, less money at their disposal, live a regimental life and so much more, but will experience an enriched life, nevertheless. It is in fact, a very small price to pay for the sheer journey.

Some practical tips that will help children with this transition.

Discipline | Teach them to make their own beds, take care of their clothes, room, books, stationary, and be responsible for their own self-care and hygiene. Get them used to a schedule and a routine from the word ‘go’, so that it is not hard for them when they move to boarding school and are expected to be independent.

Security Blanket | Talk to your child/ren and listen without prejudice and judgement, do not be quick to correct and show them the way. Rather, listen to them and encourage their critical thinking and decision making.

Independence | Fill them with oodles of self-esteem and make them confident to be able to take ownership and responsibility of their little young lives. Let them complete their given tasks and face consequences if jobs are incomplete and undone. Don’t be quick to save and protect them. Allow them to g-r-o-w u-p!

Also Read | Tips To Support Your Teen Who Is Moving Out For Higher Studies

Money Handling | Get them to start handling small amounts of money whilst maintaining a record of their expenses. With this in practice, once on their own, they will know how much things cost, and the value of things and money.

Change Management | From the comfort of their bedrooms, study rooms, food and entertainment choices, friends and family - they might need to get used to and find their own rhythm when they move out to find friendships, happiness, peace, and security in the new environment of their dormitories and hostel rooms.

Building New Relationships | Encourage your children to make some new friends, meet a lot of different (sometimes also difficult) people who will push their boundaries. Teach them to convert these experiences to their advantage and build on their emotional quotient. People skills, flexibility, adaptability are huge strengths that will help them later in life.

Encourage Your Children To Make Some New Friends

Accepting Their Pace | Everyone gets a fair chance in life and will get to experience the various stages of growing up. Everyone will experience infatuation, crushes, love, romance and eventually a steady relationship, take (calculated) risks, live the social life, party for late hours, experiment with various things and ‘let their hair down’. However, teach your kids that there is no urgency to do so just yet, and so they should enjoy each stage - while it lasts.

Educate Them | Talk to your children about mental, emotional, and psychological health, beyond physical health and wellness. Educate them on child abuse, emotional abuse where a child is repeatedly made to feel worthless, unloved, alone, and scared. Talk to them about bullying, ragging and why they should not to become a people-pleaser, victim or by-stander. Educate and empower them in an age-appropriate manner.

Stay Connected | Finally, whatever be the mode of allowed communication between the school and you, maintain the protocol, and stay connected. Today, we are blessed that we have emails and smartphones which allow us to make video calls whenever permitted and talk at length, unlike how communication was many years back. Let them know that you will always be a phone call away should they ever need any reassurance from you.

Change Will Be Worth It

A few years of living away from home, however painful it may seem initially, will always pay off. You will meet your child every year during vacation time and find many new nuances of their personality, visibly witness their growth and overall development across areas that will be heartwarming for you. From time management to discipline to sports, academics, problem solving, decision making, conflict management, communication, handling difficult people, managing their money, almost all life skills would be added on.

So, take a deep breath, say a prayer, and send your children with a heart full of love, confidence, and courage, so that they are able to find their meaning and purpose in life while getting an education. Showcase a role model of someone who is confident, secure, and complete, and trusts in the process of life, as the “apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree”!

Also Read | 6 Personal Experiences You Must Share With Your Teenager

Nandini Raman is a Consultant Counselor; Corporate Trainer; and Columnist with a leading English newspaper. She contributes to a successful weekly column on career guidance and choices. With more than 15 years of experience in the field, Nandini is guest faculty at many prestigious schools, colleges and training institutions. She is a hands-on parent to two teenagers. Nandini can be reached at www.iamfine.in